Still Thinking Positive

 This morning it was raining. Patrick decided not to go golfing. I don't blame him. I was able to get up and shower with little help today. 

Having heart surgery isn't all that fun. There are ups and downs with going through "grief" at times. I don't know if I'm there yet, but I do know I am moody at times. More in the direction of "let's get done with this!" I'm not in the "poor me" stage. I don't see any need to be there. 

Patrick needed gas in the truck and asked me to go along. I was happy to get out of the house. We went to Centralia for gas, then to the bank for money. After that we went to Safeway, where I was able to walk around - slowly - to pick a few things up. We got more fruits than anything. Also picked up some fish and will have that tomorrow. Wasn't in the mood for it today. I really want to fry it, so that's not good either. 

When we came home, I called the Kaiser cardiology pt team. I need to do a phone conference with them. Go over eating habits and exercises. It will be interesting, because I think I'm already there. My next few appointments are in a week. As for next week, I do think there is one more appointment. Hard to say. I gave up on keeping track and Patrick seems to be right on it. 

While Patrick napped today, I listened to my book on tape and played games. I thought about working on the beads for the embroidery piece, but I was more tired than anything. I really should have taken a nap, but that has never been my favorite thing to do. As a kid, I wanted to be awake and know what was going on all the time. Yet there isn't anything to be awake for, as there isn't much going on. I'm trying, but so far, not happening. I am getting to bed earlier and sleeping till about 8 am. That's a good thing, since I seem to be waking up to much during the night. 

I'm still positive. I don't want to look at life with the "poor me" attitude. It won't do me any good. Yes, I've had surgery three times in the last three months. Yes, I'm in pain, but this will pass. I really do need to go through the grief process and move on. I'm tired of getting teary when I hear bad news. 

Like the bridge that fell in Baltimore. It was built while I lived in MD. We traveled over it a few times going to church in Baltimore. It broke my heart to see a few people lost their lives, but thankful it wasn't more than it could have been. I watch the commercial of the grandson and his grandfather. He signed the baseball for his grandfather - that gets me every time. 

So, yes, there are emotions with what I have been through. Yes, there is depression with this as well. The depression puts me in the mood for gaming and not much else. I will get through this. It will pass, and I will be a better person for it. 

But, today was not the day, I could be Happy Stitching/Happy Quilting!